


Always by your side

by strikedawn



Category: IDOLiSH7 (Video Game)
Genre: Fluff, M/M, for the Idolish7 2020 Secret Santa!, just a good 3k of fluff because we all need something like that
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-12-25
Updated: 2020-12-25
Packaged: 2021-03-11 05:53:41
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 3,026
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/28310037
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/strikedawn/pseuds/strikedawn
Summary: Sougo's only reply was to hum again, and Tamaki could do nothing but sigh. Sleepy Sou-chan was as different from Usual Sou-chan as Drunk Sou-chan, Tamaki decided, but at least he could handle Sleepy Sou-chan just fine. He was soft and quiet where Drunk Sou-chan was loud and a bit of a pain. And while he preferred the quietness, truth was — there was not a version of Sougo Tamaki wasn’t willing to protect.Drunk Sou-chan, Sleepy Sou-chan, Screwdriver Sou-chan, Tamaki thought to himself. I want to be good for them all.
Relationships: Ousaka Sougo/Yotsuba Tamaki
Comments: 2
Kudos: 35





	Always by your side

**Author's Note:**

> Merry Christmas and Happy holidays, Ame!! I'm Blue, your secret Santa for this year!! I was so happy I got to write for tamasou this year, I love them so much, and they always warm my heart ;-; I hope you like your present!!
> 
> Ame's prompt was cute, soft mezzo with maybe some crosswalk scene references to it!! I hope this will pull a smile out of you guys during this time. Please stay safe and happy reading!!

The lights of the streetlights flashed warm colors into the interior of the car, keeping the night at bay.

Tamaki used to play a game when he was a child, whenever he got to ride in cars at night. He would breathe in when a streetlight blinded him as he looked out the window, then hold the air in his lungs for as long as the darkness around him remained—only to let it out with the next light, his breathing always a little bit rough around the edges. The game would continue for as long as the ride through empty roads lasted; it was a way to keep the monsters away, Tamaki told himself, because if he didn't breathe in the darkness, he would never be found. Then, with time and age, the game became a thing to seek comfort, if only because it remind him of times long gone, of times far easier.

But now, sitting in the back of Banri's car on his way home, Tamaki found himself not daring to play his old game, no matter how long the space between the flashes of light was.

His sharp intakes of breath would bother the sleeping Sougo against his shoulder, after all.

"…Are you okay, Tamaki-kun?”

Tamaki blinked, letting his eyes slide from Sougo's relaxed face to Banri's amused eyes in the rearview mirror. It wasn't a gaze Tamaki could hold for long; something warm and prickly danced under the skin of his cheeks, making his eyes slide down once again.

"…Sou-chan is exhausted, isn't he?" Tamaki said instead of replying. Or maybe that was a reply in itself. His hands, unusually empty, rested softly on his lap, fingers curled inward. He hadn't moved an inch since Sougo's head had fallen on his shoulder with a soft sigh.

"He is. Sougo-kun has been working really hard lately," Banri replied easily. When Tamaki looked up again, Banri's eyes were back on the road. "But it's for a good thing. MEZZO"'s new song is important to him; he probably won't rest easy until it's done."

Tamaki pursed his lips. He knew that. It was what scared him. "He's gonna get sick again," he mumbled, not expecting to be heard.

But of course, Banri did. "He won't, because he has his partner to keep him in check. Right?"

Banri's eyes met his through the mirror once more, and Tamaki smiled softly. ”Yeah.”

Doubt didn't take long to settle in as well, however. Because… wasn't Tamaki failing in his duties as Sougo's partner already? If Sougo was falling asleep, on Tamaki's shoulder of all places, which he _never_ did, didn't that mean that Tamaki was already late dealing with things? He probably should have intervened earlier, but Sougo had looked so excited, so _happy,_ with the new song… Tamaki hadn't wanted to take that away from him.

He was torn most of the time. Tamaki remembered the promise they had made what felt so long ago: how they would look out for each other, that they would protect each other. The ways they had to protect each other had changed a lot ever since that day by the crosswalk, but still, it was important. Tamaki wanted to help Sougo and cheer him on, but…

But sometimes, moreso when Sougo was exhausted like he was that day, it was hard to believe he was doing the right thing.

"Ban-chan."

"Yes, Tamaki-kun?"

Banri turned left, and warm light filled the interior of the car as they rode down a more illuminated road.

Tamaki held in his breath for a long moment.

"Nothing."

It didn't take them too long to reach home after that. Tamaki spent the rest of the ride barely moving, his head turned away from Sougo to look out his window at the night beyond. The street was deserted, but it was so familiar to Tamaki that he didn't feel the usual prickle of fear he felt at night.

He only felt Sougo breathing softly against his shoulder, the warm weight of his body pressed against his side.

One slight bump and they were home. The streetlights didn't quite reach the entrance of the garage where Banri had stopped the car, but it was alright; someone inside had left the light above the front door on, most likely knowing Tamaki and Sougo were to arrive late today. With a swift movement Banri got out of the car, but Tamaki stayed.

Sougo still hadn't done any efforts to wake up.

"Sou-chan," Tamaki started softly, lifting an arm to nudge Sougo's arm gently. "We're home, Sou-chan."

Sougo sighed. His head slid forward, cheek dragging on the soft material of Tamaki's hoodie, and while his fringe covered most of his face, Tamaki still could see him purse his lips, eyes firmly shut. "…Mm?"

"Gotta get up! We're home."

That seemed to do it. Sougo inhaled sharply, his head moving up so fast that he almost hit Tamaki on the chin. Luckily, Tamaki's reflexes were good, and Sougo was still sleepy, so no harm was done. They simply stayed sitting on the back of the car, Sougo's face soft and warm with sleep and very, very close.

As if he was still playing his little car game, Tamaki held his breath.

"…Oh. Sorry, Tamaki-kun," Sougo said, moving back and away from Tamaki. He looked confused as he rubbed his cheek, there where Tamaki’s jacket had left an imprint on his skin, but also at ease

Tamaki smiled at him, even though his chest hurt when he finally managed to start breathing again.

"S'alright, Sou-chan. Come on, we gotta get home."

Sougo nodded, blindingly reaching for the door handle. Tamaki couldn't help but smile at him as he watched him struggle to even get out of the car; he liked this version of Sougo, the one that wasn't influenced by fear, or manners, or even alcohol. This was Sougo at his most vulnerable without any trace of pain, and Tamaki really—

He wanted to protect him. This Sougo. All Sougos.

The strange pain in his chest made itself known with the next beat of his heart.

Sougo stepped out of the car on tired feet, and Tamaki rushed to do the same through his own door. The night was slightly chilly, enough that Tamaki saw Sougo shiver in his shawl as he made it around the car. The air smelled of the flowers by the front porch, and the rain that had fallen softly over the earth that morning.

Tamaki reached for Sougo’s elbow with a sigh as he started to slump against the car, eyes closed.

"Make sure to rest properly tonight, Sougo-kun. Both of you," Banri added with a fleeting smile at Tamaki. "I'll come to pick you up tomorrow around noon to take you to the producer, so you should have a couple of hours to sleep in and take it slow."

"Thank you, Banri-san," Sougo said, but it was a mumble more than anything, and Tamaki saw Banri hide a small laugh against the lapels of his own jacket.

"Of course. Don't fall asleep on your feet, Sougo-kun."

"Not at all," Sougo replied, eyes falling closed. Tamaki rolled his eyes.

"Night, Ban-chan,” Tamaki said as he started to pull Sougo towards the front door. “Drive safe!"

"Good night, both of you."

Sougo let Tamaki guide him, pliable in his hand. His eyes were open now, but Tamaki had the feeling Sougo would just fall if he so much as let go, so he held on tighter, careful of not hurting him, but a steady support by Sougo’s side nonetheless.

"Honestly, Sou-chan," Tamaki started as he opened the door. "You need to take care of yourself! Are you even okay!?"

"Mm," was all Sougo said for a moment, blinking sleepily up at Tamaki. Then he sighed, and when a sweet smile curled the corners of his mouth upwards, Tamaki's heart did something difficult and incomprehensible inside his chest. It was doing that an awful lot, lately. "Morning, Tamaki-kun."

"It's not morning, dummy," Tamaki replied with a sigh. The door closed behind him, and Tamaki guided them both deeper into the house they shared with the rest of IDOLiSH7. It was late enough that everyone had gone to bed, but they hadn't forgotten to leave the light of the hallway on, the same way they hadn't forgotten to leave the light outside. "You didn't even sleep."

Sougo frowned at the lights, turning his head away and almost into Tamaki’s shoulder. ”I slept in the car."

"That's not sleeping!"

Sougo's only reply was to hum again, and Tamaki could do nothing but sigh. Sleepy Sou-chan was as different from Usual Sou-chan as Drunk Sou-chan, Tamaki decided, but at least he could handle Sleepy Sou-chan just fine. He was soft and quiet where Drunk Sou-chan was loud and a bit of a pain. And while he preferred the quietness, truth was — there was not a version of Sougo Tamaki wasn’t willing to protect.

_Drunk Sou-chan, Sleepy Sou-chan,_ Screwdriver _Sou-chan,_ Tamaki thought to himself. _I want to be good for them all._

At the point where the long hallway to the rooms gave way to the kitchen, Tamaki paused. Sougo stopped with him for a second, then nodded, and before Tamaki could do anything against it Sougo's arm slid away from his grasp as Sougo walked away, probably towards his room.

"Sou-chan? Don't you want to eat something first?"

Sougo looked back over his shoulder, expression still tender with sleep. His eyes seemed a little bit more awake just then, as if he was finally stepping out of his stupor.

His smile, however, was just as soft as it had been back in the car when he said: "I think I’d rather sleep now. I'll eat tomorrow, okay?"

Tamaki wanted to protest —they hadn't had lunch together that day, and neither of them had had a good dinner before driving home. He couldn't be sure Sougo had eaten well _all day_ —but decided against it. Sougo seemed about to fall on his face once again.

Was that a good choice? Was he doing what was good for Sougo?

He had no idea, but sleep couldn’t be that bad for him. So he nodded, and said: "Okay. But sleep, yeah? No more work,” before turning his own body towards the kitchen; he needed some sugar before crashing for the night.

Sougo smiled back. ”Okay, Tamaki-kun. No more work."

"Promise?"

Sougo nodded. "Promise."

Tamaki nodded back. "Good night then, Sou-chan."

"…Good night, Tamaki-kun."

Inside the kitchen, Tamaki made sure to turn on as many lights as he could before he could get to the fridge. Maybe he should have taken Sougo to his room, Tamaki thought as he opened the door and reached for one of his King Puddings. It wouldn't be the first time; he had had to take Drunk Sou-chan to bed many times, Sougo's arm over his shoulders and a threat of just throwing Sougo over his shoulder on Tamaki's lips.

But those had always been desperate situations. And Sougo had seemed mostly awake when they had said good night; his eyes had been almost open all the way when he had turned around.

He was fine… right? Sou-chan had to be alright… right?

A soft, clinking sound made Tamaki startle. He looked down to find his spoon hitting the inner sides of his now empty King pudding; there was a faint taste of vanilla and chocolate in his mouth, and still Tamaki had no memory of even opening the pudding. But the metallic seal reflected the lights of the kitchen from its spot on the counter, the most damning of evidence.

There was no mistake; Tamaki had eaten his pudding and hadn't even tasted it.

With a sigh, Tamaki left the empty bottle on the counter and walked out and towards the rooms.

It didn't take him long to reach Sougo's door, and it took him even less to feel like he had been right to check on Sougo one last time. The door itself was already giving enough—all the members had a non-spoken rule to close their doors at night, and Sougo's was slightly ajar. But the light pouring in from the room was even more of a red flag; considering the color of it, a pale white, it _had_ to be Sougo's desk light, the one he turned on when he was working in his room.

Tamaki could already feel the familiar annoyance coiling low in his stomach, making him frown and click his tongue. He reached forward, pushing the door open all the way with a sharp movement.

"Oi—!"

There was no one at the desk. The light _was_ on, but the room was silent except for the sound of deep, gentle breathing. There was no muffled music coming out of headphones, no frenetic movement of fingers over a keyboard.

Instead, Sougo had fallen asleep over the covers on the bed, curled in on his side and facing the desk. How he could sleep with the light shining down right on his face, Tamaki had no idea, but he couldn't help the relieved sigh that escaped him and took away all the worry he had been feeling until now.

Sougo had barely managed to put on his pajamas before falling asleep. Before he even knew he was moving, Tamaki crossed the room and turned off the light, plunging the room in a semi-darkness only broken by the low light coming from the hallway. A jolt of fear made Tamaki hesitate; the shadows were deep in the corners of Sougo’s room. Still, he pushed forward, swallowing his fear and forcing himself to breathe evenly, silently.

Sougo needed him now.

"You're such a mess, Sou-chan," Tamaki whispered as he looked down at Sougo's curled form on the bed; if he had been heard by someone else, his words would have sounded incredibly fond.

With practiced ease, Tamaki pulled the covers from beneath Sougo slowly, then pushed Sougo himself onto his back so he wasn't sleeping right on the edge of the bed. Sougo hadn't even blinked when the light had been turned off, and he didn't move either when Tamaki pushed his shoulders flat against the mattress with care. His lips did part, letting out a soft breath of air that was warm and carried off the scent of peppermint with it, but that was it.

Tamaki sighed as he sat down on the very edge of the mattress. It wasn’t exactly new to him, not anymore, but taking care of someone else was… hard. Not in the way that made him want to give up, but more like—more like, since there was no one there to tell him if he was doing a good job or not, he had absolutely no idea how he was doing. Sougo seemed happy and healthy during the day, but when he ended up like this —when he ended up falling asleep barely dressed in his pajamas and on top of the bed instead of under the covers, something unusual in him—, Tamaki couldn’t help but wonder if Sougo wasn’t… pretending. Like he did at the very beginning. Like he did before they were friends and partners.

Tamaki felt a spike of sadness shoot through his chest. If Sougo was back to lying to him—

“Mm…” Sougo mumbled against his pillow, curling his body tighter. His knees and elbows brushed against Tamaki’s folded leg on the mattress. “Tamaki-kun?”

“…Yeah, Sou-chan,” Tamaki replied softly; then, moved by the vague memory of someone doing it for him when he had a bad night, he lifted a hand to brush his knuckles against Sougo’s cheek, a caress so soft it did nothing to perturb Sougo’s sleep. “I’m here.”

Sougo sighed. It sounded content, easy, not at all fake. His breath was warm against Tamaki’s cool skin, making it tingle. Tamaki brushed those tingles against Sougo’s cheek in another caress, completing the circle.

“Thank you…” Sougo started to mumble once more. “For always being by my side… Tamaki-kun….”

Warmth burst from deep inside Tamaki’s chest and spread outward, making Tamaki’s cheeks feel on fire and his eyes water. His heart was beating fast, as fast as a galloping horse, as fast as Nagi when he ran through the house before a Kokona episode. Sougo was still asleep, breathing softly against the knuckles of Tamaki’s fingers, but Tamaki had heard it. The honesty in Sougo’s voice, the sweetness in his words.

Sougo was thankful Tamaki was by his side.

If that was true, maybe Tamaki wasn’t doing a bad job at protecting him, after all.

Careful, still feeling like he had slept for hours with his head stuck under a kotatsu, Tamaki lowered himself to the floor, chin resting on the mattress. His hand had stayed there as well; after a moment of hesitation though, Tamaki moved it so his fingers were sliding through Sougo’s, joined hands now resting by Sougo’s head on the pillow. It wasn’t a very comfortable position, but it was alright.

Sougo wanted him there, after all.

The darkness around him forgotten, Tamaki let out a tired sigh. He hadn’t realized it, still wouldn’t have admitted it out loud, but he was almost as tired as Sougo himself. His eyelids, now that he had made sure Sougo was alright, were quickly falling closed, his head turning so he could rest it against the edge of the mattress and near Sougo’s hip.

He wasn’t going to sleep there. He would just stay with Sougo for a little bit, make sure Sougo would stay asleep until the morning, and then go back to his room.

But by the time the sky outside started to turn soft with the last traces of midnight blue and the new brushstrokes of dawn, Tamaki was still there, sleeping by Sougo’s side like a faithful guardian angel with his hand in his.

Taking care of someone was hard work, Tamaki knew. But because Sougo wanted him to, because he loved _Sougo_ , he would do it.

He would do his best to take care of Sougo until the very end.

**Author's Note:**

> Thank you for reading! <3


End file.
